Lily Tomlin, born Sept 1, 1939

“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.”

“I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.”

“Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.”

“If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you’re not considered well viewed.”
“Why is it that when we talk to God we’re said to be praying but when God talks to us we’re schizophrenic?”

“If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?”

“Reality is a crutch for people who can’t handle drugs”.

Lily Tomlin